When Calm Feels Dangerous: Why We Resist the Healing We Need

Dear Beautiful Soul,

We often imagine that relief from stress should feel… well, relieving. But what happens when peace itself feels like a threat?

If you’ve ever resisted slowing down — even though you’re completely burned out — please know you’re not alone.

With her permission, I want to share with you the story of my client Lisa. She’s a high-performing professional, thriving in her career but living in constant overdrive — deadlines, back-to-back meetings, an endless to-do list. She’s always “on,” secretly exhausted, yet oddly uncomfortable when things slow down.

Her nervous system had adapted to that constant hum of stress so completely that stillness felt foreign. Even though it was draining her, that stress had become her comfort zone.

When a colleague invited her to a sound bath, Lisa thought, “Maybe this will help me sleep better.” But something surprising happened…

When Calm Feels Unsafe

The moment the soothing tones began, Lisa couldn’t relax. Her shoulders stayed tight, her jaw locked. The gentle singing bowls felt irritating. Her mind raced. She wanted to fidget, check her phone — anything but lie still.

She wasn’t doing anything “wrong.”Her body simply didn’t yet trust calm.

When we’ve been living in fight-or-flight for too long, our systems often interpret rest as vulnerability. Stillness doesn’t feel safe… it feels unfamiliar. And the unfamiliar is exactly what a stressed nervous system resists.

How Her Body Responded

During the session, Lisa noticed:

• Tension — shoulders braced, jaw clenched

• Restlessness — twitching feet, eyes darting under closed lids

• Mental resistance — thoughts like “I should be doing something”

• Shame — “I’m not the type of person who does this.”

• Physical reaction — a racing heart, even with soothing sounds

Her body had learned: Tension = control. Letting go = risk.

The Path Back to Safety

Here’s the good news: resistance isn’t failure — it’s a beginning.

For Lisa, the key was to:

• Acknowledge her resistance without shame

• Introduce calm slowly — even one mindful breath at a time

• Let her body lead, allowing it to discover that softness and stillness aren’t threats

With time and gentle consistency, her nervous system began to associate sound and rest with safety rather than danger.

If This Feels Familiar to You

Healing isn’t always peaceful at first. Sometimes it begins in discomfort, especially when we’ve been living in high-stress patterns for years. But that discomfort isn’t a sign to stop — it’s a sign something is shifting.

Your body isn’t broken. It’s simply doing what it learned to survive. The journey home to peace isn’t about forcing yourself into calm. It’s about helping your body remember what calm feels like — slowly, kindly, and with compassion.

If you’re curious about experiencing this for yourself, I’d be honored to guide you. You can book a Sonic Aura Sound Bath through the Book and Shop page or reach out to me directly by e-mail. I would love to introduce you to the gentle magic of sound therapy.

With love and holding space for your journey,

Desiree

📩 Contact: 

desiree@love-by-design.com

🌐 Book a session: 

Visit the Book and Shop page on our website